The Muffin Menace
by Red Witch
Summary: The Xmen face their greatest challenge yet...Kitty's cooking.


**Kitty baked the disclaimer telling you that I don't own X-Men Evolution characters. Oh boy, trouble is coming for the X-Men. Set around 'The HexFactor.'**

**The Muffin Menace**

A crisis had happened at the mansion. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to the X-Men. More frightening than any opponent they had ever fought before. And they couldn't win. They could not overcome this terrible obstacle. This was something that shattered their confidence and threatened their very sanity.

"Come on Scott try one!" Kitty held up a basket full of brown objects. 

"Oh no," Scott moaned. "Not another batch of muffins, Kitty!" 

"Okay I know the last batch was a little heavy," Kitty said, holding out her newest creation.

"A little heavy?" Scott yelped and pointed at the hole in the kitchen floor. "Boulders are a little heavy! Those muffins made Blob look like a lightweight!" 

"They weren't that bad," Kitty made a face.

"Kitty here's a tip, muffins are not supposed to make holes in the kitchen floor," Scott told her. 

"Okay so I made a slight miscalculation," Kitty shrugged. "These are much better. I promise. Where's Kurt? I want him to try one too." 

"He's in the med lab, recovering from your previous batches," Scott said. 

"Come on Scott! Mr. Logan took my last batch and he didn't complain," Kitty said.

"You serious?" Scott looked at Logan. "You actually ate those things?" 

"Are you kidding," Logan told him. "My healing factor ain't that good! I'm using them for target practice tomorrow." 

"Ha Ha!" Kitty said. "Now try one!" 

"Oh look at the time!" Logan looked at his watch. "Time to hit the road again! I'll just take one and go! Goodbye!" Logan grabbed one and ran out. 

"Thanks a lot!" Scott groaned. _Five will get you ten he throws it away._

"Come on Scott try one!" Kitty held them up to his face and put on her cute smile. "Pleeeeeeesssee?"

"Uh," Scott gulped. 

"I'm telling you she's like a maniac," Kurt's voice drifted down the hallway. "All those muffins are not good for the health! Especially when Kitty bakes them! She's a monster! Oh no!" Kurt blanched when he and Rogue entered the kitchen. "Not again!" 

"I am not that bad a cook!" Kitty glared at him.

"Wanna bet?" Rogue smirked.

"Just for that you two get to be my official taste testers along with Scott," Kitty sniffed.

"What are you trying to do poison us or something?" Rogue snapped.

"That is so not funny!" Kitty snapped. 

"Do I smell smoke?" Scott sniffed.

"Oops! My next batch! Don't go away!" Kitty yelped. 

"Now she's burning down the kitchen," Kurt gulped. 

She ran off to the oven that was smoking leaving the muffins on the table. While back was turned Rogue nudged Scott. "Hey Scott maybe you could have a little 'accident'?" 

"Huh?" Scott looked at her. "Oh I get it! Oops! My shades slipped!" He moved his shades enough to emit an optic blast and zapped them. 

"Scott," Kurt gulped. "You just zapped those muffins with your eye blasts right?"

"Yeah," Scott turned pale. "And they're still there!"

"Not a scratch on 'em," Rogue gulped. 

"Okay," Kitty took out a smoking batch of muffins. "After you try those, I want you to try these. They're a little burnt but…"

"Look out!" Rogue pointed to the door. When Kitty turned around she whispered. "Kurt get us out of here!"

"Good idea!" He teleported with Scott and Rogue with a bamf! 

"Hey!" Kitty shouted. "Fine! I'll bet Lance would love these!" 

"What's going on?" Jamie came in.

"Hi Jamie!" Kitty said in her sweetest voice. "Want a muffin?"

"AAGGGHH!" Jamie screamed and ran out of the kitchen.

"Come back here!" Kitty chased after him. 

"CHILD ABUSE!" Jamie shrieked. "CHILD ABUSE!" 

"What's all the shouting about?" Xavier came out of his office.

"Professor everybody is being totally unfair!" Kitty said. "No one will try my muffins!"

"All right Kitty I will try one," Xavier told her and bit into one. 

"Well?" Kitty asked.

Xavier had a strange look on his face. "They're…unique."

"I knew they weren't that bad!" Kitty said triumphantly. "I'm going to keep trying the recipe until I get them right! Thanks professor! I think I'm gonna go make another batch!" She rushed back to the kitchen.

"Oh…" Xavier turned pale. "I think I'll go see Hank in the medical lab now." 

And so it went for the rest of the week. Kitty made forty-two more batches of muffins. Xavier had to double his order of antacids that week. Later on another hard blow befell the X-Men.

"I can't believe the Brotherhood beat us!" Evan groaned.

"Wanda totally trashed us," Rogue grumbled. 

"Not to mention the Bayville Mall," Jean sighed. 

"I can't believe we failed," Scott looked away.

"She was too powerful Scott," Jean reminded him. "I never felt anything like that before."

"Where's Kitty?" Kurt asked.

"Dunno," Evan grumbled. "Probably sulking that her favorite hangout has been totally trashed."

"Okay guys!" Kitty walked in. "I know you're all down, but I thought of a way to get our spirits back up! Muffin anyone?"

The entire room groaned. "Are you nuts?" Rogue snapped. "Stupid question."

"Hey I'm as bummed as you guys are but sitting around moping isn't going to change anything!" Kitty said. "I decided to do something productive and cheer everyone up. I feel a lot better. Try one," She handed everyone a muffin. 

"Well that is an admirable attitude Kitty," Xavier said warily looking at his muffin. 

"Oh why not?" Kurt grumbled. "Let's just bottom this whole day out."

They all took a bite of the muffins. And immediately spit them out. 

"Oh man that was the worst one yet!" Evan groaned.

"This is supposed to make us feel better?" Scott moaned. 

"No more," Kurt groaned. "I can't take any more!"

"Somebody shoot me please!" Rogue cried. 

"Kitty what did you put in these things?" Jean asked. "On second thought don't tell me! I don't wanna know!" 

"Okay," Xavier groaned. "Kitty, there is a new rule in this house. You are forbidden from making any more muffins. Ever." 

Everyone shared a loud chorus of agreement. "Okay, okay," Kitty pouted. "I get the hint! Fine! We're done with muffins anyway in Home Ec!"

"Thank the sweet lord above," Kurt groaned. 

"Tomorrow we're gonna learn how to bake a cake!" Kitty said brightly and left the room. 

The entire room groaned. "Whose bright idea was it to let this girl into a Home Economics class anyway?" Logan snapped. 

Everyone glared at Xavier. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," Xavier gulped. 

"I know who's going to be Kitty's new official taster from now on," Kurt glared at him. Everyone murmured in agreement. Xavier never felt so trapped in his entire life. 


End file.
